Cuz of our show totally spaced yesterday and forgot to post The Goddess Lexo aka Alexis Tricky Travis aka Trixxxxxx Top 5. She's our friend/dancer/and many things. And here it is. Luv u gurl. NEXT TO THE BABY CLOTHES.
IF I HAD A DICK FOR A DAY
1. Well, first I would name him Russel D.Salamander (The Hoe Slammer/Pussy Jammer )
2. Fuck a fat white girl. They call her Fat Back. (seems like it would be a ton of fun)
3. Find a way to impregnate Erykah Badu with her fourth child. Another son. Named eight.
4. Hold an Annual Dick Control Class (a step by step program teaching dudes how to hold their cum until their partners arrive first. Thust removing all signs of bitchassness, improving their sex skills, and stepping their love game from a 2 to a 10. (would make me rich!!) Would also ensure that yo girls, hoes, and wives aren't getting tossed up by your best friends, fathers, neighbors, or ME. Russel D.
Once again it's on!! So everybody wanna know how Jam's feeling on this FREAKY FRIDAY huh?!?! Well...as I said before, it's officially snow bunny season!! No disrespect to my "sistahs" but at a time like this when the weather begins to change and there is a good reason to stay inside and cuddle up with someone nice and respectful...someone who won't give you attitude about why you won't take them out, why you want have sex with them when they got a wrap on they head and no make up on, why you ain't tell them you had three kids...etc...you need the black man's kryptonite...no NOT chicken...A WHITE GIRL!! With that being said, I'm taking it back to the first time I remember getting what I now know as...aroused!
It was a dreary summer's day in Houston, Tx and my grandmother decided to let me pick a movie to watch. Since I had warped the Coming To America VHS tape, I decided to go with another comedy of sort...Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Ladies and Gentlemen I bring you Jessica Rabbit!! Jessica fu*king Rabbit!!! The OG snow bunny with the name to prove it!! I don't know if I was quite man enough to give her much back then...but today, on this FREAKY FRIDAY, I would give her all this monsters got...all 2 pumps this chump has to offer!!! Somebody animate me please or bring me a cardboard cut out or something...
A moment of silence please for Mrs. Jessica Rabbit
*(no animals or cartoon cut outs were harmed in the making of this post)
First up is: Ready To Slide A free promotional sex tape. Well, EP. And I don't mean Enlarged Pu**y. I mean a short baby album. And no i don't mean short term relationship with a man thats turned into your son.
1. Make Her Say (Cubic Zirconia Remix): This is our take on Kid Cudi's "Make Her Say" which is his take on Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". My face hurts. Too much poking.
2. Freebase Kool Hersh Blend: Hersh took our song "Freebase" that was already nasty and mashed it up with Joker's "Digidesign" and shit got nastier. Its sexy but scary, cuz my vocals are screwed. Its like you're in the Twin Peaks club, One Eyed Jacks, and Joker's beat is playing in the background and a woman who sounds like a man in a red dress is singing in your ear. Trannie? More like trannie perfection!
3. "D.F.A.D" a.k.a Dick For A Day: One day while walking the streets of the East Village, my dear friend Amy and I discussed the idea every woman has had; what if I had for a dick for a day? Bitches don't front. I told Nick of this thought and he replied, "Can you say 'I'd spray it round like a motherfucker A K?' ". #646th reason why Nick is my dear friend andmusic partner. So, I marched my trifflant ass over the bridge and wrote dick. He threw in Art of Noise and there you have it or don't.
4. Cubic Zirconia - Fuck Work (Michael Meds Remix): This remix reminds me of a Twin Peaks rave and the ecstasy FINALLY starts to hit and you don't know where your boyfriend is. But the laughs round 3:59 is my fav. It sounds like the laughter of the bitch that pussy whipped your brother. I act all of this characters out alone at my dance parties at 2 pm. Call me.
5. Apsci Under Control RMX: - We collaborated with ApSci on a couple of projects. First off I have to say I love love them and reeeeally love Dana. We spent a good 8 mins on g chat discussing what me and Katt William's children would be like. Funny or short or both or maybe neither. We did a hardcore remix for they're song "Under Control". Umm...using Sammy Siegler. That shouldn't be allowed.We also worked with them on our upcoming single for Josephine. They are ill directors.
Here's the original song and their video they, of course, directed
6. Fuck Work Mr. Hook Gone Wild: I have dance parties, but Nick has vocal R&B parties/ performances in his bedroom. My favorite song of the year. Hands down. Done.
I promise to post more, but for now I'm off for the city. Maggie feed me!
***Cubic Zirconia is a NOT a free sex organization. We require money.***
