Friday, May 8, 2009

Freaky Fridays

Freaky Fridays!
a weekly chance to exorcise the Freak in us, holler at someone we always wanted to/or just recently had the urge to fuck.
I tip my hat at the nod to start this weekly off.

This week goes out to JENNA MONIEZ.

It's 1983. I'm 7 years old, going on twelve. Jenna is hands down the hottest young latina in the 2nd grade. hair, black, silk like a navaho, and skin like butterscotch candy. her legs would protrude out from her blue and green plaid uniform skirt like popsicle sticks with choco-dipped softserve melting down them. mmm

I would replay this same lucid daydream over and over in my head...

directly behind my elementary school there was this small man-made pond with big goldfish in it, and Jenna lived right on the other side tucked in this row of houses.

In the dream I'd be sitting on a bench by the pond. feeding the fish or just sitting and waiting. she would walk out of her house butt-ass neked. (she had flashed me once on the playground, so I had a good reference point of what she looked like under her clothes. but what did I know about foreplay and seduction then?! lol)
she'd walk up and sit down next to me, and we'd talk about the most random shit, but she'd always be the same, free as a jailbird. and I'd gaze over every exposed part of her. legs, neck and cute, nowhere near developed, mini mounds. I was 7! shit my penis didnt even know how to get hard yet.
I remember wanting to kiss her, but not knowing what to do, and it seemed wacked. so instead i'd get the most enjoyment out of gazing and slight touches of her skin with my hands. it was always foreign. always felt new. it never got old.

I'm not 7 anymore.

Freaky Friday.

Jenna if you're out there.. HOLLLLLERRR

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Yo. We decided to do a Top Five Tuesdays. Tuesdays are generally worse than Mondays, you seem even further from Friday. So why not entertain each other. Every Tuesday we're gonna show love to someone in our extended fam to speak on whatever the fuck they want. You don't gotta sing or rap or even be a spoken word artist. Email us at:
First up:


5 Top Things I Hate About Sex

1. Penis burn from heavy petting. (Ouch!!!!)
2. Quickies in the summertime. (Pubic hair kinda smells like an old mop.)
3. Quiet Bitchez!!!!!!!! (Ahhhhhh.....I'm working hard over here.)
4. The sound of her voice afterwards. (Can I hang myself now.)
5. Mercy sex. (I feel lame doing it but fuck it!!!!!!! It's still ass.)

I met Waajeed waaay back in the day at a SV concert. My homegirl, who I later found out was a groupie ho slut, introduced us. We argued about falafels (black hippies) and horoscopes (specifically cancer males, whateves i was scorned). Couple months later he hit me up to work on some project called PPP. I loved Waajeed's stuff, but I was having a moments in my life and didn't wanna write AT ALL. But that nigga sent me a check, so hey. We worked together on Platinum Pied Piper's Album "Triple P" and toured. We've had our moments and I'm sure he thinks I'm a juuuust a lil off, but I love Jeed like a brother and absolutely credit Jeed for getting this tired ho back in the game.

Those that don't know. Waajeed's done all types of production for Slum Village, Coultrain, Havana, DJ Center & scoring for Chris Rock & Nelson George's Good Hair movie. Check for Funkin For Jamica/Jeedo Suave 12" next month on Jazzy Sport.