Monday, November 2, 2009

I Hate that bitch- ass Wesley Snipes

was missin this dude today. black gums and all.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Top 5 Tuesdays (even tho its Wednesday)

Cuz of our show totally spaced yesterday and forgot to post The Goddess Lexo aka Alexis Tricky Travis aka Trixxxxxx Top 5. She's our friend/dancer/and many things. And here it is. Luv u gurl. NEXT TO THE BABY CLOTHES.

1. Well, first I would name him Russel D.Salamander (The Hoe Slammer/Pussy Jammer )

2. Fuck a fat white girl. They call her Fat Back. (seems like it would be a ton of fun)

3. Find a way to impregnate Erykah Badu with her fourth child. Another son. Named eight.

4. Hold an Annual Dick Control Class (a step by step program teaching dudes how to hold their cum until their partners arrive first. Thust removing all signs of bitchassness, improving their sex skills, and stepping their love game from a 2 to a 10. (would make me rich!!) Would also ensure that yo girls, hoes, and wives aren't getting tossed up by your best friends, fathers, neighbors, or ME. Russel D.

5. Take Tiombe out for a dinner with some kale.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


hey there, come out to brooklyn bowl tuesday. free show with the god dam funk to celebrate the release of his full length LP as well as him being on the cover of the new fader mag. We hit around 10. tell a friend.

Friday, October 23, 2009


Jamire Williams, aka Jams, Freaky Friday Pick

Once again it's on!! So everybody wanna know how Jam's feeling on this FREAKY FRIDAY huh?!?! I said before, it's officially snow bunny season!! No disrespect to my "sistahs" but at a time like this when the weather begins to change and there is a good reason to stay inside and cuddle up with someone nice and respectful...someone who won't give you attitude about why you won't take them out, why you want have sex with them when they got a wrap on they head and no make up on, why you ain't tell them you had three need the black man's NOT chicken...A WHITE GIRL!! With that being said, I'm taking it back to the first time I remember getting what I now know as...aroused!

It was a dreary summer's day in Houston, Tx and my grandmother decided to let me pick a movie to watch. Since I had warped the Coming To America VHS tape, I decided to go with another comedy of sort...Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Ladies and Gentlemen I bring you Jessica Rabbit!! Jessica fu*king Rabbit!!! The OG snow bunny with the name to prove it!! I don't know if I was quite man enough to give her much back then...but today, on this FREAKY FRIDAY, I would give her all this monsters got...all 2 pumps this chump has to offer!!! Somebody animate me please or bring me a cardboard cut out or something...

A moment of silence please for Mrs. Jessica Rabbit
*(no animals or cartoon cut outs were harmed in the making of this post)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

CZ meets HA mixtape

hi, we made a mixtape before our little journey with head automatica.. if you wanna pick up a physical copy, head over this way.


Friday, October 9, 2009

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Jimmy Helvin's Top 5 for Tuesday!
Jimmy makes all of my dresses and is my dear friend. Here is his top 5.

1. Jean print leggings.
The perfect recession friendly fall denim. Available for $4.00 at the 99 cents store on Grand Street and Graham avenue in Brooklyn. Don't knock em til you try them. The 99 cent variety have higher quality prints than the ones at Strawberry and are $5 dollars cheaper!

2. Leopard Print Stretch Velvet
Straight from the upcoming "Josephine" video. I whipped up a number for the LePore shortly after. Catch the matching opera length gloves from LaCrasia (Thanks John!).

3. Animal Hair Hats
From Japanese artist Nagi Noda of Hanpanda fame.

4. Billy Beyond Eyewear
Frameless and 100% UVA and UVB protective. Each piece signed by the artist. Email for details.

5. Leoncie
"Spectacular Leoncie is the Instrumentalist of all her songs. She spends hundreds of hours perfecting her music,u ntil every song has been thoroughly improved and polished repeatedly before recording her songs in professional recording studios, anywhere in the world, and after she has arranged every minute detail, to perfection, Leoncie produces and performs all her music, in the recording studio with such artistic, impressive ease that she finishes recording 2 songs within 3 hours, like the professional she is."
Get into it!

Contact Jimmy Helvin:

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Elegant, Beautiful, and Professional Adventures of Cubic Zirconia


First up is:
Ready To Slide
A free promotional sex tape. Well, EP. And I don't mean Enlarged Pu**y. I mean a short baby album. And no i don't mean short term relationship with a man thats turned into your son.

1. Make Her Say (Cubic Zirconia Remix): This is our take on Kid Cudi's "Make Her Say" which is his take on Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". My face hurts. Too much poking.

2. Freebase Kool Hersh Blend: Hersh took our song "Freebase" that was already nasty and mashed it up with Joker's "Digidesign" and shit got nastier. Its sexy but scary, cuz my vocals are screwed. Its like you're in the Twin Peaks club, One Eyed Jacks, and Joker's beat is playing in the background and a woman who sounds like a man in a red dress is singing in your ear. Trannie? More like trannie perfection!

3. "D.F.A.D" a.k.a Dick For A Day: One day while walking the streets of the East Village, my dear friend Amy and I discussed the idea every woman has had; what if I had for a dick for a day? Bitches don't front. I told Nick of this thought and he replied, "Can you say 'I'd spray it round like a motherfucker A K?' ". #646th reason why Nick is my dear friend andmusic partner. So, I marched my trifflant ass over the bridge and wrote dick. He threw in Art of Noise and there you have it or don't.

4. Cubic Zirconia - Fuck Work (Michael Meds Remix): This remix reminds me of a Twin Peaks rave and the ecstasy FINALLY starts to hit and you don't know where your boyfriend is. But the laughs round 3:59 is my fav. It sounds like the laughter of the bitch that pussy whipped your brother. I act all of this characters out alone at my dance parties at 2 pm. Call me.

5. Apsci Under Control RMX: - We collaborated with ApSci on a couple of projects. First off I have to say I love love them and reeeeally love Dana. We spent a good 8 mins on g chat discussing what me and Katt William's children would be like. Funny or short or both or maybe neither. We did a hardcore remix for they're song "Under Control". Umm...using Sammy Siegler. That shouldn't be allowed.We also worked with them on our upcoming single for Josephine. They are ill directors.

Here's the original song and their video they, of course, directed

6. Fuck Work Mr. Hook Gone Wild: I have dance parties, but Nick has vocal R&B parties/ performances in his bedroom. My favorite song of the year. Hands down. Done.

I promise to post more, but for now I'm off for the city. Maggie feed me!

***Cubic Zirconia is a NOT a free sex organization. We require money.***

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Check 1

Testing out this phone

- sent from the heart

Who has cable?

Thursday, September 10, 2009


just took a lil pic while i was cleaning the crib today. it inspires me, hopefully it will to you as well.

look for some free music coming your way on tuesday. )

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009

get your girl in the mood quicker

st. ides recap

rewind 2

dont sleep on the gay headrub


Thursday, August 13, 2009

august 26th!!!! cz michna apsci

get them tickets in advance!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Cubic Zirconia's Next Show in NYC

We're excited our line up for our Mercury Lounge show Aug 26. Michna and Apsci. Yay!! If you think Santos was buck this is going to be even crazier trust! Good bands, surprises!!

If you were at last show we suggest buying tix NOW to avoid the madness!!Click here for tix! 

And check out Apsci 

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009

1989 Todd Performs Smooth Criminal

Hi it's Todd. I just got this transfered from VHS so finally i can share this with the world. I love you Michael. I will miss you.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

free mixtape download

hi, its nick. daryl from head automatica and i did a little mixtape before we did our baby tour.

you can get it free right here. enjoy :)


buybuybuybuy in advance and dont get left outside!!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Hazel Dobkins

Okay. I don't know what the hell this fuckery is, but I highly highly highly suggest clicking the link below. Michael Douglas is a freaky freak nasty.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Freaky Fridays (RIP Magic Fingers)

Wednesday, June 17, John Joseph Houghtaling, aka homie who brought our grand-parents The Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed, passed on. His freaky ass was 92 years old. He is my freak of the week because, in my opinoion, is the first person to show us it's okay to have robotic side dishes in the bedroom. RIP homie.
I can't post a picture of the vibrating bed because I'm at work.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


So we made this podcast for Diesel U music and if my calculations are correct it airs live streaming at 9am and 9pm streaming BST so that means it airs 3am and 3pm EST (etc. etc figure it out)... The site is Its got a bunch of music we used to play, alot of music we love now, alot of music that we grew up on and alot of talking shit. Give it a listen ok?

Top 5 Tuesdays!!

I know it's Wednesday morning technically but close enough. This weeks installment is brought to you by my brother Neil Rubenstein from Sons of Abraham fame. That was our straightedge jewish brutal ass hardcore band. Yes, really. Peep Neil's Comedy here:

Don't believe in evolution? Don't read this.

5. Wingless Flight
Squirrels and Sugargliders and shit that can leap from tree to tree and glide forever on air caught under their patagium. There's also flying possums... Can you imagine? No, seriously, take a second. How rad would that be? And this is only number 5. Get psyched.

4. Opposable Tails

Monkeys, et al, that can use their tails to hang from or carry things. Very cool. That's a huge advancement. First monkey that carried something with his tail probably blew all the other monkey's minds. They were all struggling with something, or juggling, whatever monkeys do when we aren't watching, and then along came that first monkey, all nonchalant. Other monkeys were mind freaked.

3. Opposable Thumbs

Forget tails, THUMBS! Opening doorknobs, txt messaging. These are pretty important things not a lot of animals can do. You know those guys that only have one thumb? Those guys are bummed. A lot more bummed than dudes with nine toes, thats for sure. And way more bummed than a monkey with no tail. We, as humans, actually traded our tails in, but kept thumbs, thats gotta say something for thumbs.

2. Adhesive Toes
WHAT? Are you kidding me?!!?! You can walk up walls? That's ridiculous. I mean, totally valid trade for being so tiny and shit. Imagine being huge and able to walk up walls? That would creep everyone out. You think for a second if something as big as a dog could walk up walls and just hang out there, we wouldn't have exterminated the entire species? That's too big, with too many weapons, to be hanging out on a wall, just chilling. Spiders are as a big and scary as we can handle. Any bigger, we wouldn't be catching it in a cup and releasing it outside, that's for damn sure.

1. Speech

Fuck yeah! We can talk and shit. I'm sorry, that trumps gliding. I know. It's crazy! I could say all of these things out loud. So what, you can glide from tree to tree? Eagles can just whip by and eat you. I'm down for speech. Eagles can't eat speech. FACT.

Sunday, June 14, 2009





Friday, June 12, 2009

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


I've known Daniel and Sean for quite some time now. We've worked together on my personal project and I on theirs. They're awesome producers and musicians and they're band, Phenomenal Handclap Band, is incredible live and on record. Check below for their shows and release date and info.

Phenomenal Handclap Band
's Top 5 Sandwiches:
Ban Mi


Phenomenal Handclap Band-S/T. Record out June 23 on Friendly Fire Recordings (Itunes / Amazon)

June 17 Stuytown Ovalour
June 25 Record Release Party @ Santos

photo credit by: Alex Solmssen

This is what I'm talking about

Monday, June 1, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009


Freaky Fridays!
a weekly chance to exorcise the Freak in us, holler at someone we always wanted to/or just recently had the urge to bone.

CZ Sheila E
Cheah. If you were born before the 80's, put your hands high in the air, cus that means you were Old enough to get aroused or excited IN the 80's.
It means that you most likely remember those bombshells and firebirds of the brown persuasion like; Vanity, Gloria Estefan, Sade, Tina Turner, even Whitney Houston.

but this weeks freaky friday is going out to SHEILA E!

she could play the drums standing up and sing her ass off! peep the videos.
Prince knew what he was doing.

Sheila E. if you're still in NYC... let's go make some rhythm!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009


Nancy Mitchell is a monster. She directed our video for Fuck/Funk Work. She killed it. Destroyed it. We can't be more grateful! Shout out to Three 21 Media!!!

For more of her awesomeness click HERE




Wednesday, May 27, 2009


you got knocked the fuckout. i love pitbull. he kept rapping!!


*sorry yesterday we were working on our podcast yesterday for taste/urb.*

Top 5 Things That Make TT Happy

5. Vegetarian Cokeheads
4. Nicknames black men give white girls walking to and from the train
3. Gay Indian men n black leather jackets with blonde hair
2. Old people with condoms
1. Lionel Ritchie's accent in All Night Long's verses
1. Project Pat playing Rose. Tiombe Lockhart playing Bernard.

If you don't know what I'm talking about you should shot yourself in the fucking face.


man i loved this song so much when i was little cuz he said stlouis


Tuesday, May 26, 2009



Saturday, May 23, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009

Freaky Fridays

Freaky Fridays!
a weekly chance to exorcise the Freak in us, holler at someone we always wanted to/or just recently had the urge to fuck.


I am going to holler at April O'Neil. The channel 6 news reporter that was homies with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Whenever I watched the Turtles I always got this feeling I couldnt explain as a young boy when I saw her in her tight yellow jumpsuit.... especially when she was kidnapped and/or gagged or in a vulnerable situation! She always ran around with a camera with who knows what on the tape.... aaaaand of course her boobs were huge! Heres a nerd fact: April was infected by nanobots that almost killed her until the Turtles injected their own nanobots into her to save her. It worked but she became infertile because of it. So in other words April if you are reading get at me I can make you real.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009



Alright, I've known Invincible for a while now. She is a dear dear friend and besides that one of the best rappers (i don't feel comfortable ever saying MC). She keeps me posted on politics I should know about and has my back when we need to fight a ho at KFC in Camden Town.

Here's her info. And Ms. things top 5s. Under Top 5s is the video we shoot for "Ropes" from her album Shapeshifters.RIP Ms. Butler. And the link for a sneak peek of "People Not Places"


Top 5 videos by rappers with double x chromosomes:

Searching for these was hilarious at times (LOL @ BWP's "2 minute brother"), and disappointing at others (still SMH at Busta turning Rah Digga's joint "Tight" into a BDSM dungeon scene- reminds me of her role in "13 ghosts" yikes!). There were plenty of classics that were impossible to narrow down into this short list including Lady of Rage, MC Trouble, Antoinette, Yo-Yo, and Heather B (yep, from the Real World), BUT unfortunately- waaaaaaay too few in the last decade worth mentioning. Ladies, we need to step our game up and pick up the torch where these legends left off!


BO$$- "Recipe Of A Hoe"

First and foremost- This song was one of my favorites as a youngun, plus I HAVE to shout out Bo$ since she's from Deeetroit! The vid looks like it was shot in one of the many vacant warehouses in our lovely city- and she stayed dipped in all Carhartt. Check out her thuggish homies stirring the recipe for gigolo-ing like it was stone soup.


Jean Grae- "Taco Day":

This is one of the most brilliantly written story songs in the history of Hip-Hop, and showcases Jean's outlandish imagination. Not only has this topic never been touched on besides De La Soul's "Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa", the video actually does it justice.


Bahamadia feat. K-Swift and Mecca Star- "3 Tha Hard Way":

This was one of my favorite "jawns" off of her debut album simply because it was three dope female emcees straight spittin with no gimmicks or bullshit-and the video reflects that same sentiment. The beat is produced by the one and only DJ Premiere. It doesn't hurt that Bahamadia is one of the coolest, most down to earth people I have EVER met in this industry.


Queen Latifah feat. Monie Love- "Ladies First"

Self explanatory. If this wasn't on the list I woulda given Tiombe permission to slap me.(sidenote: you have to see Anomolies' DJ Kuttin Kandi's record juggling routine to this song)

Tied for the #1 spot
Both of these legendary emcees are the most influential women in the Hip Hop movement in my opinion...

Roxanne Shante- "Roxanne's Revenge"

The queen of Queensbridge was only 14 when she recorded this in one take, and her motivation was a complimentary pair of Sergio Vanlente designer jeans (Marley Marl worked at their factory and had the hookup). Now known as Dr. Roxanne Shante, she has a PHD in psychology and runs an icee shop for youth in Queens. Random factoid- that's a young Lin Que helping her put on her mink! CLASSIC!

Why she would get out of her car by Astor Place at the same exact moment that her man is on the train spitting game to another lady didn't really click at first, but I guess that's a scorned woman's spidey sense at work. The synching is lined up worse than an overdubbed kung fu flick, but all the magical parts make you quickly forget the technical difficulties. CLASSIC!



Sunday, May 17, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009

Freaky Fridays

Freaky Fridays!
A Weekly chance to exercise the Freak in us, holler at someone we always wanted to/or just recently had the urge to do it to.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Tuesday, May 12, 2009


sorry for the late response. been out in these streets grinding it out.
we would like to give you the top 5 video games of yaks past.

Not only being one of the best human beings of life, Yak is a part of the weatherman, cardboard city, and in my opinion one of the dudes that will be the next to move hip hop forward as we all move along.

yakz math:

Top 5 Video Games of MY Past: Ultimate Favorites that took a lot of my time.

1. Street Fighter II -SNES

2. Mike Tyson's Punch Out -NES

3. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest -NES

4. Mortal Kombat II -SNES

5. Metal Gear Solid -PS1

bonus* Tony Hawk's Pro-Skater -PS1*

Oh My Jah


Just got Fuck Work Video. a;lskdjf;lkasdf;lkas;ldkfj;klasjdfja;skdljf
Nancy Mitchel directed it. It's incredible. Can't wait!

Photo: Mark Zaharis

Friday, May 8, 2009

Freaky Fridays

Freaky Fridays!
a weekly chance to exorcise the Freak in us, holler at someone we always wanted to/or just recently had the urge to fuck.
I tip my hat at the nod to start this weekly off.

This week goes out to JENNA MONIEZ.

It's 1983. I'm 7 years old, going on twelve. Jenna is hands down the hottest young latina in the 2nd grade. hair, black, silk like a navaho, and skin like butterscotch candy. her legs would protrude out from her blue and green plaid uniform skirt like popsicle sticks with choco-dipped softserve melting down them. mmm

I would replay this same lucid daydream over and over in my head...

directly behind my elementary school there was this small man-made pond with big goldfish in it, and Jenna lived right on the other side tucked in this row of houses.

In the dream I'd be sitting on a bench by the pond. feeding the fish or just sitting and waiting. she would walk out of her house butt-ass neked. (she had flashed me once on the playground, so I had a good reference point of what she looked like under her clothes. but what did I know about foreplay and seduction then?! lol)
she'd walk up and sit down next to me, and we'd talk about the most random shit, but she'd always be the same, free as a jailbird. and I'd gaze over every exposed part of her. legs, neck and cute, nowhere near developed, mini mounds. I was 7! shit my penis didnt even know how to get hard yet.
I remember wanting to kiss her, but not knowing what to do, and it seemed wacked. so instead i'd get the most enjoyment out of gazing and slight touches of her skin with my hands. it was always foreign. always felt new. it never got old.

I'm not 7 anymore.

Freaky Friday.

Jenna if you're out there.. HOLLLLLERRR

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Yo. We decided to do a Top Five Tuesdays. Tuesdays are generally worse than Mondays, you seem even further from Friday. So why not entertain each other. Every Tuesday we're gonna show love to someone in our extended fam to speak on whatever the fuck they want. You don't gotta sing or rap or even be a spoken word artist. Email us at:
First up:


5 Top Things I Hate About Sex

1. Penis burn from heavy petting. (Ouch!!!!)
2. Quickies in the summertime. (Pubic hair kinda smells like an old mop.)
3. Quiet Bitchez!!!!!!!! (Ahhhhhh.....I'm working hard over here.)
4. The sound of her voice afterwards. (Can I hang myself now.)
5. Mercy sex. (I feel lame doing it but fuck it!!!!!!! It's still ass.)

I met Waajeed waaay back in the day at a SV concert. My homegirl, who I later found out was a groupie ho slut, introduced us. We argued about falafels (black hippies) and horoscopes (specifically cancer males, whateves i was scorned). Couple months later he hit me up to work on some project called PPP. I loved Waajeed's stuff, but I was having a moments in my life and didn't wanna write AT ALL. But that nigga sent me a check, so hey. We worked together on Platinum Pied Piper's Album "Triple P" and toured. We've had our moments and I'm sure he thinks I'm a juuuust a lil off, but I love Jeed like a brother and absolutely credit Jeed for getting this tired ho back in the game.

Those that don't know. Waajeed's done all types of production for Slum Village, Coultrain, Havana, DJ Center & scoring for Chris Rock & Nelson George's Good Hair movie. Check for Funkin For Jamica/Jeedo Suave 12" next month on Jazzy Sport.


Friday, April 24, 2009

tune x

Thursday, April 23, 2009


I usually accidently sometimely watch Fox news, they are weird and scare meh. But homeboy couldn't have said it better.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Thanks for everybody that came to our show!!! So much fun

This scene makes me feel like there's dry oatmeal under my skin, but can't stop watching. Don't watch if your having a rough day.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


please come rep. for 5 bucks..

gonna be a fun one. set time coming shortly.